Reviewed By Dr. Huma Ameer
Sometimes even well-intentioned acts of parents can have an unwanted effect on their kids. For instance, some disciplinary methodologies and corrective measures might do irreparable damage and affect the self-esteem of a child negatively.
Sometimes, when parents believe they are helping out their child, in reality, they are causing harm. This is not a minor problem, as adverse childhood experiences can cause mental and physical health issues later in life. Here are some things that can destroy a child emotionally:
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Pushing, grabbing, shoving, kicking, or hitting children can have a negative impact on them. That does not mean that spanking also have an adverse effect. The main factor is the severity of it and the emotions that are being displayed when doing it. For instance, if you show so much anger while lightly hitting your child that he fears for his safety, it could cause problems later in life.
Parents sometimes believe that if they praise siblings, cousins, friends, or other kids in front of their child, it would help motivate them and inspire them to improve. However, a lot of times comparison can have the opposite effect.
Children who are constantly compared to others lose their sense of individuality and start to believe that they are worthless. Instead of comparing their kids to others, parents should motivate them to improve on their negative aspects by highlighting their positive traits. Kids are still developing, and they need a lot of care and positive attention.
When one or both the parents are mentally ill, the needs of a child might not be satisfied and he might be burdened with the responsibility of acting as a guardian to the parents.
This means that the roles are reversed and it could mess with the child’s normal routine such as going to school and meeting friends. Moreover, a mentally unwell parent might not be emotionally available to his child, especially if he is heavily medicated.
Some parents feel threatened when their kids don’t inherit their characteristics. Such individuals firmly believe that their kids should be just like them, and share their goals and interests. They think that if their child is just like them, it will be easier for them to manage them and everything would be stress-free.
Those kids who are not like their parents are considered outliers and a threat to social order. Such parents often end up criticizing the abilities and characteristics of their kids and this makes them feel unappreciated and insignificant. It is essential that parents let go of their ego and focus on what their kid needs instead.
If you think you were mistreated as a child and it continues to affect your personal and professional life, it’s recommended to ask for professional help.
You can find and book an appointment with top Psychologists in Lahore, Karachi, and Islamabad through oladoc.com. You can also call our helpline at 042-3250-044 for assistance to find the RIGHT Doctor for your health concerns.
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