It’s summer, the heat is making you irritable and well, hot. Air conditioning is the only love you need, and thinking coital thoughts is not even the last thing on your mind, let alone the first one. Your partner might feel a little unsettled by this, but you both are able to moan like the draft of cool air reaches you.
We get it; sometimes, it’s okay to not be in the mood for sex. However, when the problem of low sex drive is perpetual, it needs to be addressed.
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Reasons for Low Libido
The problem of low libido has complex roots. Mental issues are one facet; stress and anxiety not only kill the sex drive but in the case of men, may also cause problems getting an erection.
Similarly, hormonal problems like low testosterone and estrogen can also cause a lack of sex drive in men and women. It may be linked to old age, especially in women who undergo menopause, and the dry spell that it brings.
Trauma related to sex, like molestation or assault, can also be behind disdain for sex. Both men and women can suffer from PTSD about stress, for which they need to get psychological help.
Even a history of unsatisfying sex life can make people swear off stress and cause them to get their pleasure from glazed donuts instead.
However, most often, lack of sex drive is a composite of many factors. Individually, they might not always have a profound impact. When they compound, enter the lack of sex drive.
Ways to Increase Sex Drive
The good news is that low sex drive can be improved by taking a few helpful steps, most of which are simple lifestyle factors. Some tips to incorporate include:
1. Change your technique
Your partner will not say it to you, but the reason that sex is not a pleasurable experience for them is that, well, there is indeed less pleasure in it. When their sexual needs are not being met, they naturally become disinterested in sex and stop putting effort into it, without which, your experience also borders on disappointment.
An easy solution to this debacle is improving technique. For men, it also includes steering clear of wham, bam, thank you, ma’am. Women’s sexual needs are different. They prefer more foreplay and stimulation.
According to research, only 18% of women orgasm from sex alone. A whopping 33.6 % need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Therefore, partake in some foreplay. The better the sex is, the better the sex drive will be as well.
2. Complexes: Body image issues
We do live in a superficial world where women are told to uphold a specific level of beauty to be considered attractive, never mind that standard is actually nigh impossible to achieve.
Whereas men were initially allowed a free pass when it came to looks, but models with chiseled bodies are also making men feel very self-conscious.
Since beauty and attractiveness co-relate directly with sexual allure, therefore, people’s body image issues can cause their sex drive to take a tumble, somewhere near the south pole.
Understandably, people become complexed about their looks and thus sexual prowess. But remedying it is also possible. Exercise and a healthy diet are not only good for shedding off the extra pounds and the mental baggage they bring but also increase sexual performance.
Moreover, it is important that you boost your self-confidence either by reading valuable material, visiting a therapist for help, or well, counseling yourself out of the superficial.
3. Diet for the win!
Your diet can also help boost your sex drive. Specifically referred to as Aphrodisiacs, certain foods are considered good for sexual arousal.
Some of the aphrodisiacs also are pitched as being good for improving performance and endurance.
Whereas some of the benefits of the foods are anecdotal, since scientific search falls short of validating them, but the placebo effect can be of help.
Figs, bananas, avocados, etc. are touted as foods good for the sex drive. Certain herbs like ginseng, fenugreek, and nuts like pistachio are also good for libido.
Chocolate is often associated with sex, but the sensual pleasure may just be a marketing ploy. As per research, chocolate does not cause any physical changes that increase the sex drive, but chocolate does have important compounds like serotonin and phenethylamine. These chemicals help in improving mood, and destressing, which can put one in the mood for sex. So not a complete bust then!
Moreover, it is also important for men to be considerate of their diet. Diseases like hypertension, diabetes, cardiovascular problems are perpetuated by bad diet, and they lead to erectile dysfunction.
They should try to cut down on the fat and the salt and instead, eat a balanced diet full of natural foods. Moreover, since obesity is a risk factor for sexual dysfunction in both men and women both, it is imperative that normal-weight be maintained.
Moreover, you can include shilajit supplements to your daily dietary routine. They can help boost sexual performance when consumed in moderation. Remember to consult your doctor before taking them.
4. Exercise, not extra fries!
You may get exhausted by just thinking about exercise, but without it, you can forget about having a healthy life.
Exercise helps in improving physical health, and it also prevents diseases like hypertension that are associated with erectile dysfunction. It also helps in boosting libido. Since sex is a demanding physical activity, it requires stamina and endurance for it to be pleasurable.
Therefore, people who regularly exercise are more likely to have a more satisfying romp in the bed, or two, or more; after all, their heart is strong enough to handle it.
Furthermore, exercise helps in preventing obesity and also becoming overweight, which is very significant; weight plays a pivotal role in sexual performance or lack thereof. Obesity not only causes physical ailments that impair sexual health but also results in body image issues that can also be behind the lowered libido.
Exercise also helps in the release of endorphins, which then improves mood. Therefore, exercise, rather than ordering extra fries!
5. Manage stress
Stress can be termed as the biggest wet blanket, and it will not even be an exaggeration. Your work, relationship, family, anything can cause you anxiety. It not only then puts a damper on your happy emotions overall, but also causes a lack of stimulation as well.
Whereas in men it can lead to problems getting an erection, in women, the lack of sufficient stimulation leads to painful sex. Therefore, to improve your sex drive, have effective stress management techniques.
It is imperative that you prioritize your mental health, which may involve you not partaking in tasks that overwhelm you. Ask for help around the house and the work rather than taking it on yourself to do everything.
Remove toxic people from your life that contribute to your stress and depression. Moreover, as lack of sleep also causes mood problems, try to get sufficient shuteye. Similarly, as exercise helps in countering stress hormone levels, make it a regular in your life.
Relaxation techniques like yoga, breathing exercises, meditation, and massage are also effective for curbing stress. Laughter, as they say, is also the best medicine against stress; your body releases endorphins that then cause cortisol –a stress hormone—levels to go down.
It is also important that you seek help when stress is running your life, and these techniques are failing. A counselor not only gives patients perspective but also equips them for successfully dealing with stressful situations.
It may also be that your relationship is the source of stress; and that is why your sex drive freezes when you gaze that your partner; they are the ones killing your thrill. In such cases, couples therapy is shown to be effective.
6. Stagnant relationship
The lack of sex drive may be also because your relationship is in a rut. One cannot expect the honeymoon period to last forever, but a complete lack of excitement is also not healthy either. The familiar can become boring, especially when practicalities like utilities, children, and their demands act as literal turn-offs.
If that’s why your libido is low, you need to talk to your partner about it. There are things you can do to add excitement to your life. Try going out together, on date nights. Go somewhere for the weekend, just the two of you.
It is also helpful that you both make a commitment to keep time for each, come hell or high water!
7. Smokers, out!
Smoking is bad, and even the tobacco companies say so, just look at the pack. Thus, it comes as no wonder when smoking is also the reason for your lack of sex drive.
Smoking impedes blood circulation, leading to erectile dysfunction in men. It also decreases stamina; naturally, when your lungs are becoming diseased, one alveolus at a time, breathing will also be gravely impaired.
Moreover, smoking itself kills the sex drive. As men are unable to perform sexually due to smoking, they simply do not want to anymore. Their lack of performance may also then lead to psychological issues and create tension in the relationship as well.
Quick solution, quit smoking. Not only will it make your sex life more pleasurable, but you will get to live long enough to keep enjoying sex. Now that’s a win, win!
8. Sex therapy
Sex is not as easy as the rom coms may make it out to be. It is an enmesh of emotions, desire, mood, physicality, prowess, getting your brain in, stimulation; in short, it’s a messy business. Therefore, the answer for your low libido might also be a complex one.
There may be several factors that are causing your sex drive to suffer. The lack of sex drive may also be present in both partners, further making the situation complicated. And no matter how much chocolate you gobble on, sex is still not interesting to you.
It may be thus a sign that you need help from an expert. Sex therapy is one great option for people, and even couples seeking out to improve their libido. Counseling can help with psychological issues like trauma, low self-esteem, strained relationship, depression, anxiety, etc.
Meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, etc. are some scientifically proven ways for increasing sex drive, pleasure, and arousal. Since sex is a primal need, there is no reason why you should not seek help to remedy the lack of libido.
You can schedule an appointment with the top sexologist in Lahore, Karachi, and Islamabad through oladoc.com. You can also call our helpline at 042 3890 0939 for assistance to find the RIGHT Doctor for your addiction-related issues.
