‘Happily ever after’ does not have to be a myth—even though it may seem like that a few years after marriage. Counsellors explain that even more important than “finding love” is the task of “keeping the love”. Just like any other thing that’s worthwhile, happy ever after also takes a lot of hard work and effort.
Divorce and separation are not just the two outcomes of marriage; another less talked about the outcome is general dissatisfaction and unhappiness in the marriage. In Pakistan, the divorce rate is going at an all-time high—despite being a country where marriage is considered sacred. So how exactly can one work on their marriage and relationship, here are a few tips for you.
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Keep dating your spouse:
Dating is not exclusive to new relationships—in our opinion, old relationships need it more. A weekend getaway or a candlelit dinner can provide a change of scenery, and make your partner feel special. Consider making dates a recurring feature in your relationship so you don’t feel monotony build up. Dates are even more important when you have children and build a family.
Another honeymoon may just be what you need to stir things in your marriage. Spending exclusive time with your significant other in a special environment can remind you of all the things you love about your partner. It is also de-stressing and revitalizing for the health of your relationship. Don’t consider another honeymoon every two years or so, too much. Infact, make time for this getaway no matter how busy you are.
Think about how to make it work:
Research shows that ten years down the lane, arranged marriages work better than love marriage. People who get into arranged marriages often have to work on their relationship, and think about how they can make it better; they don’t just rely on intense emotion and ‘magic’.
In comparison, love marriages may start with a lot of passion and fervour, but this burns out quickly, and ten years down the line, these couples are often found struggling. In conclusion, we learn that working on a relationship is always important, and rewarding.
Don’t try to change your spouse:
Even years after marriage, there must be things that you and your spouse always argue about. Most of the problems of a couple are perpetual and trying to change your spouse is not the answer.
There might be things that still irritate you about your partner even after years of marriage, and you might still be struggling to change that. However, the answer lies in not trying to change that, and just accepting it, as it is.
Remember that old relationships are just as important:
There is another kind of charm and security in old marriages and relationships. Sometimes, we forget about this and overlook this blessing. As we grow older, the love may become subtle, but it becomes more valuable and magical. We just need to remind ourselves of this when we feel that passion has slipped away.
If you think your relationship needs a bit more TLC, then you can seek the help of a professional. Book an appointment with a top counsellor in Karachi, Lahore and Rawalpindi through oladoc.com, or call our helpline at 042-3890-0939 for assistance to find the RIGHT professional for your concerns.